Lifeline [ALT]

from The Lam by noraa kaplan

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lyrics

I hung up on you
in a shower too hot for my own good,
cried into a bar of soap
while you dialed my number
and drilled it thanklessly into the counter.

I did not appreciate
the harsh vibration of your concern.
O ingrate, let the liquids down
the drain there drown—
I ought to have shown some respect to you.

After all, you’re a volunteer!
You told me your name like I needed to know
but I forgot it instead.
You put up with my blubbering,
my incoherent tale

and asked me the questions
they told you to ask—
What’s going on? Where are you?
Are you alone right now? Are you gay?
How old are you?

You patiently kept the ingrate in line
when I interrupted and whined
about getting raped and feeling dirty.
You expertly told me to breathe and unwind,
that you’re an ally

but I hung you up, high and dry,
shouted something about
needing to shower him out of me.
With no other choice, it was no wonder why
you called 911.

The next lady wasn’t nice at all,
she told me to give up my address the easy way
or they’d track and trace the call.
She informed me I was lying when I said I wasn’t armed;
the other lady told her that the ingrate had self-harmed.

The officers stroked their unholstered guns
like great big cocks.
Well, really, what did you expect?
Where do guns go but people’s faces?
The fire trucks, the ambulance, the backup arrived

all because of hanging up on you.
O volunteer, why was I so rude?
O ally, so ungrateful too?
O lady,
I apologize to you.